Please, somebody wake me up and tell me I’ve been having a bad dream. I didn’t just read that the District Attorney in Collin County has charged a Plano woman, Dena Schlosser, with capital murder. She can be put to death for taking a phrase in the Bible literally and cutting off her baby’s arms. It couldn’t also be true that Child Protective Services is not letting her husband have his other two traumatized, confused kids for just the opposite reason. He didn’t take his wife literally when she told him the night before the incident that she was giving the baby to God. He is being punished because he didn’t know his wife was insane before she carried out an obviously psychotic act. But the district attorney hasn’t figured it out, even after the act.

The reason I know that I’m dreaming is that this is 2004. Our government officials couldn’t be that obtuse. How could they expect the husband to take his wife literally? Even in the Bible, when Samuel’s mother said she was giving her son to God, she meant she was dedicating his life to God’s work. I guess if the CPS officials came to a fork in the road - they would eat with it.

Our officials need to make up their minds. They can’t have it both ways. You can’t expect the wife to think metaphorically and the husband to think literally. As a New York newspaper chief editor (and crusty Texan) told his fence riding journalist, "Don’t pee down both legs at the same time." So what’s the problem? The problem is the law is out of touch with reality. I guess you could say the law is not sane. According to the law, there are two options - guilty OR not guilty by reason of insanity. But she IS guilty. She is guilty by reason of insanity.

Scott Peterson is a totally different story. He is obviously guilty by reason of severe narcissism and sociopathy. He has no conscience. Mrs. Schlosser, Andrea Yates, plus another woman in East Texas last year were all suffering from postpartum psychosis. 

The percent of women who become clinically depressed in the few weeks after having a baby is ironically higher than at any time in a woman’s life. Fortunately, psychosis during this period is not common. It only occurs in about 1 in 1000 deliveries. Most of the time, women who develop postpartum psychosis turn out to be bipolar. This is a serious mood disorder that requires continuous treatment, just as does diabetes.

Most women who develop postpartum psychosis don’t murder their babies, but it is a well known possible complication. Most of the time, women who murder their babies lack adequate family network, have husbands who don’t provide enough emotional comforting, and they are usually involved in a fundamentalist church.

One classic symptom of psychosis is concrete thinking (i.e. taking everything literally). Have you ever had a really crazy dream? That’s the way the psychotic mind works when they are awake - and to them it seems real.

Fortunately, we have excellent medications to treat this disorder. Unfortunately, these medications are expensive and our "managed cost" medical system often only provides less expensive, less effective medication. 

Let’s wake up from the dark ages. I believe the United States is the only country that treats infanticide during postpartum psychosis as a crime. Scott Peterson murdered his wife and unborn child because he didn’t want to be bothered by a child or child support. He planned it out carefully and tried to hide the fact from everyone. Dena Schlosser and Andrea Yates murdered their babies to send them to heaven. They immediately called someone to tell them what they had done. Am I crazy or do these two scenarios seem different?

Guilty by reason of insanity!

Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t want take that medicine … I might get addicted.”? Did you know there is a difference between “addiction” and “physical dependence”? Listen to Dr. Jones’ explanation.

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What do we do about all the food? A recent survey found that 75% of people gain an average of 10 pounds during the holidays. It’s more effective to have a plan of what you are going to do not a plan of what you’re not going to do.

Increase activity - ideally at least 30 minutes a day of vigorous physical activity. Walk briskly - park further away from the store. Take the stairs. The most effective for many people is some aerobic equipment at home in front of the TV or with music or a reading rack. Get into the habit. You have to schedule work-outs, not wait until you have nothing to do. It helps if you do it with someone - make a commitment to a specific time.

Do not eat sweets or starches (fruit, bread, pasta, vegetables) without protein - meat, cheese, nuts. Eat slowly and savor the taste and limit the quantity. Take another piece of cheese instead of another piece of pie. Eat more meat, less potatoes, breads.

You can’t eat it if it’s not there, so be careful what you keep in the house. If you over do it, compensate with increased activity - like walk around the mall for 2 hours (you may want to leave your credit cards at home.)

Feeling stressed is associated with increased cortisol (the stress hormone) that increases appetite and weight. 71/2 - 8 hours of quality sleep every night is essential for good stress management. Recent research shows that inadequate sleep increases a hunger hormone (Ghrelin) and decreases the satiety hormone (Leptin). Make sleep a priority.

They are the best of times and the worst of times, to borrow a phrase from Dickens. Parties, presents, family - and parties, presents and family.

Why do so many people feel so much stress this time of year? Parties are fun to go to - mostly, but then there’s the pressure to make small talk, the gossip, the time, and if you’re giving the party - the planning, shopping, cost and clean up. For many people who have social anxiety, they are especially difficult.

Then there’s the gift buying - what to buy - how much to spend. Thank God for plastic - until you get the bills. There’s the traffic, crowds, and an overwhelming amount of crap, frequently on sale and still usually overpriced. But the main stress of the holidays for many people is the family. Every day in my office I hear some horror story about some blow-out at a family function. In a recent interview, Donald Trump said "Friends are great; family is greater" - or not, I might add.

Why does there seem to be much more resentment between family members than between friends? What exactly does "blood is thicker than water" mean? It is certainly messier when it’s spilled all over the place.

The greater risk of hostility occurring in families has multiple causes. First, there’s a greater likelihood that we will get together with people we don’t particularly like when we are related to them. Many people avoid confrontation or open discussion of conflicts. In family, this may result in smoldering hurts and resentments, sometimes for decades.

Second are many opportunities for envy or jealousy. Third are feelings of entitlement that inevitably lead to disappointment. Fourth is a greater likelihood of indulging ourselves with a temper tantrum or tirade that would be fatal to a typical friendship but are usually tolerated in the context of the family. Throw in alcohol and the added stress of rug rats running around everywhere and you have the recipe for potential disaster.

What can we do to protect ourselves - or at least lessen the risks?

There’s no such thing as an unexpressed feeling. If not expressed or dealt with openly, it will come out indirectly in some neurotic or passive aggressive communication or will be internalized as a somatic or physical symptom.

But feelings don’t have to be expressed immediately. It’s OK to wait until a suitable time and place. The holidays aren’t the ideal time to try and resolve ongoing conflicts. Anticipating an awkward situation and getting together ahead of time to clear the air is preferable, if circumstances allow. But if not, it may be helpful to let the person know that you’re aware of the problem and that you would like to get together soon and talk (set a specific time if possible).

When you have a "serious talk," set your goals realistically. It takes two people to have a positive personal dialogue. It also takes two people to have a nasty fight - Either one can usually stop a bad exchange. Sometimes the best you can do is acknowledge that you understand how the other person feels and why. You don’t have to agree. You can’t make them understand how you’re feeling, but you have a better chance once they know you have heard their position. Covey says in Habit 5, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

The pain of lost loved ones is frequently most intense during the holidays. It helps to share feelings and memories with people you are close to. Don’t just share how much you miss them and how it’s not the same without them. Recall the happy or especially funny incidents. Be thankful you have loving memories.

Listen with your "third ear," to paraphrase Theodore Reik. Read body language and tone of voice so that you might prevent gradual escalation to an emotional uproar. When appropriate, use active listening. Point out the feeling that you sense (i.e. "You seem quiet or down or upset or stressed."). This invites the other person to share. If sincere, be supportive, but other options include getting an agreement that prevents an increase in tension. Be caring, playful or straightforward. Do not be critical, controlling or sarcastic.

Try to avoid feeling sorry for yourself, even if you inherited a screwed up family. Don’t be a rescuer and try to fix everything. We can observe a lot by watching according to Yogi Berra. And Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." Do something different.

For the fortunate, the holidays are the best time of year. We get to see our families, participate in traditional activities and laugh a lot. If you are not so fortunate, don’t be part of the problem. Be part of the solution. You can start a new tradition this year.

Good luck!

? As much as 70% of the population may have at least one classic symptom of an anxiety disorder.
• Normal amounts of anxiety are helpful. It is the raw material of guilt which helps individuals develop standards of good behavior.
• There are two kinds of feelings that people with anxiety are likely to deny: anger and unexpressed wishes or desires.
• Anxiety disorders develop first in 68% of people who later become depressed.
• 11% of men and 20% of women describe themselves as suffering from symptoms of worry, anguish, or anxiety.
• Anxious people can develop social handicaps which result in problems with intimacy. They often live their lives at a distance from the people around them.
• Women are 2X more likely to have an anxiety disorder than men. This makes women more likely to also develop
depression.
• Since 55% of people with GAD relapse when medication is discontinued after 6 months, long term therapy should be carefully considered.
• Insomnia is often a key warning sign of stress overload. If left untreated it usually leads to more severe anxiety symptoms.